Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Still in the muck

But really so much better.  I still have days when my feelings come up and I wonder how long it will go on, but those days are fewer and farther between, as they say.  Today I had a Reiki session and the practitioner asked me what was going on in my life (this was at Friends In Deed) and as I told her, I had a good cry and she said, "Wow, that's a lot to handle all at once."  And she said some other stuff that I can't remember, but at the time felt good.  I don't know why, but I am really happy that I have these feelings of sadness and that I can actually feel alive after so many years of feeling numb and never crying.  I used to be amazed when someone said, "Oh, I cried all night."  Or "I couldn't stop crying."  I just didn't get it.  Now I get it.  Now I have much more compassion and empathy.  

I just got a text message that my daughter, who works at "It's A Grind" in Nob Hill, San Francisco.  She invented a vanilla-hazelnut latte and everyone likes it. I'm so proud! 


anniemcq said...

Wish we could go to that little coffee shop in SF, drink Zoe's invention and talk. I miss you!

staceyjwarner said...

Congrats to your daughter and glad to hear you are able to cry...so much better than being numb.

much love

culprit said...

Oh cool, I'm going out to SF next month, I'll stop in and have Zoe make me a doppio soy macchiato

Mia said...

are you STILL in the muck? or whaddup?