Waiting

This morning I read a Pema Chodron quote about gloriousness and wretchedness from "Start Where You Are."  It says basically you just need to have both in your life, it can't be all glorious and hopefully it isn't all wretched.

Today I (and many of my friends) are waiting for a biopsy report to come back for my beloved little dog, Lola.  I have mentioned before that she has had some trouble walking and recently the vet suggested that she probably has a benign brain tumor growing in her cerebral cortex, affecting gross motor skills.  

Thursday morning, as I was petting her, I felt a very large lump on the side of her head, which literally appeared overnight.  It's the size of an egg.  We rushed to the vet and she did a biopsy and now we are waiting for the results.  It is a hard mass and the vet felt it was probably another tumor.  

I am having a hard time believing that this amazing little dog, who I have come to love so much, may be very ill.  She has a good appetite, she doesn't seem to be in any pain, and her only real symptom is that she walks like she is a bit drunk. I love my dog, Lucy, but in terms of personality, she doesn't come close to Lola. Lola is a funny, charming, adorable little dog.  She seems to pick up people wherever she goes and creates smiles and laughter as she prances down the street.  

 

I ran over to Friends In Deed to talk about my sadness and worry about Lola was reminded not to get into a negative prediction.  For today, she is still with us.  I don't know why our pets make their way into our hearts the way they do, probably because it's the purity of the love and the devotion.  And they make us happy.