Friday, October 10, 2008

Love and Marriage

If ever there was a survey of the biggest myths perpetrated over the history of the world, I swear that marriage + love would be a the top of the list.

Why are there days when I can totally understand the homicidal impulse that overcomes people? Is it hormonal? Is it just that spending so much time with ANYONE would make you feel as though you are losing your mind? I honestly don't know how couples who have been together for 50 years or so manage to survive, except that as our senses start to fail us, and we can't hear what our spouse is saying, we can't see them as well, our sense of smell is fading, taste, and who wants to be touched?

I recently heard about a couple who live on opposite coasts half the year. That sounds good to me.

Tomorrow I may be saying how much I love my partner and enjoy our life together, but today you can have him. No, the truth is that I do love my partner, I just want more space. More time alone. I need more alone time to keep me sane.

I think I also need to do some heavy duty meditating. And tonight we are going to see a play by Michael Weller, a friend, called "Fifty Words" about a Brooklyn couple who fights for the pretty much the entire show. Perhaps a bad idea...

Later tonight:

In fact, a very good idea. "Fifty Words" was the perfect play to see, although painful, it really does show a marriage, the honest struggle that trying to live with someone and create a family, involves. Michael Weller wrote it. His son, Ben and my daughter Zoe are good friends. I love Ben. I've known his mother, Kathy for thirty years. There's so much truth in the play. We all really enjoyed it, although it was painful. The actors, Norbert Leo Butz and Elizabeth Marvel were both superb. Thank you, Michael. I've admired your work for so many years

Also - yesterday, I saw "The Changeling" the new Clint Eastwood film with Angelina Jolie. A fantastic film, beautifully acted and directed. And also very sad.

Ironically, I guess there isn't much in life that makes me happier than seeing really fine works of art. That and some alone time.


writerblocked said...

Not too harsh a commentary about marriage at all. Very understandable to anyone who's been in a long term relationship. Here's an idea: what if there were two couples and the wives decide to live together so they can help each other take care of the kids and support each other's doing so, and the husbands live together somewhere else and the couples...

anniemcq said...

One of the reasons I'm so glad I know you is that you don't have some fairytale take on life. I am of the belief that love can help a lot, and it's a total bonus to a good marriage, but I think the main ingredients are respect, for your spouse AND yourself, and a killer sense of humor.

That and a long fuse.

anniemcq said...

ps: love the new look of the blog and that is a FANTASTIC picture of you!