Every morning, before I go anywhere (other than walking the dogs) I make sure that I read something from my daily readers. I discovered this years ago, when I started with a book that basically copied Twelve Step daily readers, although I can't remember the name of the book, I found it helpful during a difficult year.
Now I read four books and each reading is about a page. Here were the messages this morning:
1. Taking care of yourself - setting boundaries - taking actions that are necessary in order to be responsible for yourself is important. Caring for others is great, but not caretaking. That was a big lesson in my life. I'm not sure I've got it yet, but I am making progress.
2. Trying to figure out what is the right path, when your heart tells you something and your head tells you something else. When that small still voice is screaming, "You're going to get hurt! No, don't do that! Stay away!" How do you trust intuition and know what is the right path for you, and what is based on old voices that are no longer valid.
3. Constructive criticism vs. hurtful criticism. Consider the source!
4. Anger is another addiction. We often use it as a default behavior, instead of an opportunity to take a few deep breaths and see what is really bothering us and why we feel the need to act out.
I need these daily readers and my meditation practice right now. Sometimes it feels that accepting wherever I am in my life is quite easy and safe. Other times it feels very scary and that the future is a giant, terrifying unknown. Today is March 9th and today all is well. Spring is almost here and I am grateful for all that is good in my life. There are so many blessings and I am so excited that my daughter is coming to visit me in two weeks.
But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that right now is a bit difficult and it's hard for me to write about it. I can do as Pema Chodron suggests and say, "I accept, I accept" and take a few slow deep breaths and go about my day. I love the prayer, "Please make me an instrument of thy peace." I will look for some flowers and buds on the trees. When I woke up this morning, the sentence (and lyric), "Today's going to be a great day" came to me so I posted it on Facebook. I hope it is for everyone, particularly those of us who are dealing with challenging times.
I'm also going to try to put some fun in my day, even if it's just a dance break or a bike ride. And I'm going to remember the messages about self care, anger, constructive criticism and trust.
I also apologize for any typos today. I woke up really early this morning and I can't quite wake myself up!