Monday, June 8, 2009

The ripping of flesh

One night, a few weeks ago, I was looking around on the internet for some kind of divorce support group. There is actually a website called "The First Wives Club" - or something like that and I looked at that awhile ago, but I somehow managed to sign up for 365 days of support emails, not knowing they would turn out to be a bit more religious in nature than I'd realized. So I read them anyway and they usually are relatively okay to read, but today's was way over the top. You judge:

When a couple marries, they are no longer two individuals. They become what the Bible calls "one flesh." Genesis 2:24 puts it this way: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

Unfortunately, people make decisions that lead to the breaking of marriage bonds. To better understand the extreme pain of separation and divorce, think about what happens when a marriage bond comes apart. The married couple does not revert to being two individuals again. Instead, they become two parts of the same one-flesh marriage, torn away, with huge, gaping emotional wounds.

Dr. Myles Munroe shares: "People will say, 'Well, my husband and I separated.' That's not true. You tore, and that's where the hurt is. You actually tear, and parts of you go with the other person. That's why breaking a relationship is so difficult because you lose a part of yourself forever."

Don says, "There wasn't an aspect of my life that wasn't torn and ripped. There was pain in parts of my body that I didn't even know pain could reach."

Jesus describes this one flesh relationship:

"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate" (Mark 10:8-9).

Dear God, what happened to my marriage? Place Your healing touch on my gaping wounds. Save me, Lord. Amen.

Okay, so I'm not feeling THAT bad. I am wearing a band-aid on my thumb, but that's about it.


anniemcq said...

this has me laughing out loud. I love you Robin.

Judy C said...

Your post reminded me of an experience I had when I was a psychotherapy intern. I was doing couples therapy with a very young Born Again Christian couple and the husband said to me, "Marriage is about the two of us becoming one." I innocently asked, "Which one did the two of you become?" He responded, "Me, of course!" I said, "Well, that might be the cause of some of the upset in your marriage right now because I very clearly see two people sitting here in front of me and not one!" The wife was initially shocked that I said that but by the end of the session she was happy to have some small space to speak her point of view.

And I thought that we Jews had owned the market in regard to enmeshed relationships! I guess Jesus does save after all... (At least if you're Jewish and can appreciate the joys of not having a one flesh relationship!)

Keep staying present and laughing at the absurdities that we human beings create. You're doing a great job besides being very entertaining!