I'm nearing the one year anniversary of the decision to separate, that big moment that came in our marriage counseling session. Is it better? Yes. It is still difficult? Sometimes. Am I through the worst of it? Hopefully, but maybe not. I'm still mourning my mother and that also takes time.
Yesterday I sat with a woman whose husband left her just a few months ago and she found out that he'd been involved with another woman for several years. A few days ago I heard about a book called "Perfection" - about a woman who discovers, after her beloved husband's death, that he had been having affairs with nearly every woman in their small town.
I guess I'm lucky that I'm not dealing with that kind of betrayal and that is often the reason many marriages end, people fall in love with someone else, or discover that their spouse has been cheating.
I'm not sure it really matters in the end what the causes are; the results are the same, sadness, loss, a sense of failure, mourning and fear. All of those feelings are less intense for me now, but they are still there and they come and go. The woman I sat with yesterday was in so much pain, I wished there was something I could do or say that would help her, but time really is the healer. One year from now I will be in a completely different place emotionally - I am certain of that.
And the saying really is "one day at a time" - and that's about all any of us need to deal with.