Life is mysterious...I dragged myself to the gym and ran faster than I have in a long time, 3 miles in 36 minutes. It made me feel so much better. Then I went to Friends In Deed, to a big group, where I was reminded yet again - that when we live in the moment everything is pretty much fine. And the mantra can be: "Come on back" when we feel like we're going back to the past and re-hashing stuff or going to the future and worrying about it. And the AND word - I can feel sadness AND feel happy at the same time. I can miss my mother AND also feel grateful that she is no longer suffering. I can miss my marriage and the family unit we had AND feel excited about my life now.
After the big group they fed us lunch which always makes me happy and I spoke to my friends who were there, then I came home and dealt with the thing that was really bothering me - my taxes. I can't really file them because everything is up in the air about the settlement and I wasn't sure how to file for an extension. So I called up the I.R.S. and spoke to a very lovely man who told me exactly what I needed to do and it was so easy, it was ridiculous. Life has lessons every day. Sometimes they are painful and sometimes we make them painful when they are really quite simple.