Life as an experiment

I haven't written on this blog in a long time.  It's mostly because I've been extremely busy and so much is happening.

Our play "Scrambled Eggs" is opening this coming week.  It's very exciting and also very stressful.  I have never had much confidence, so this is really a stretch for me.  I know that every creative endeavor, when you put it into the world, requires some nerves of steel, which I don't have.  But I do have the awareness that life is about taking risks and sometimes you come out okay and sometimes you don't.

The fun of this experience has been in the work.  I have enjoyed writing this for a long time and working with this cast is a joy.

Also, I've continued writing for the Huffington Post on various subjects - faith, loss, grief, dancing, divorce, women leaders.  It's been a great outlet for me to write anything I am interested in.

Today, I have mostly been obsessing about the play and how the dress rehearsal had some major mistakes and that the leading man, like me, seems to have terrible allergies.  And on and on......my mind can go into the most imaginative and creative disasters.

So once again, Pema Chodron came to the rescue. I was cleaning out my wallet and I came across this passage, that I carry around with me (and forget to look at):

"My teacher, Trungpa Rinpoche encouraged us to lead our lives as an experiment, a suggestion that has been very important to me.  When we approach life as an experiment we are willing to approach it this way and that way because, either way, we have nothing to lose.

This immense flexibility is something I learned from watching Trungpa Rinpoche.  His enthusiasm enabled him to accomplish an amazing amount in his life. When some things didn't work out, Rinpoche's attitude was 'no big deal.'  If it's time for something to flourish, it will; if it's not time, it won't.  

The trick is not getting caught in hope and fear.  We can put our whole heart into whatever we do; but if we freeze our attitude for or against, we're setting ourselves up for stress.  Instead, we should just go forward with curiosity, wondering where this experiment will lead."  

As I published this, I noticed that my last blog post included this same passage!  Interesting coincidence.  I guess it's important that I take this in.