More loss

I don't really have much to say about losing my beloved dog, Lola.  It hurts and I miss her AND it was a peaceful passing.  I was so lucky to be able to hold her and she didn't seem afraid, she seemed ready.  

I couldn't have asked for a more devoted or sweeter dog.  She was the light of our lives, the happiest, least neurotic being in our family.  I brought her home with Zoe and neglected to ask Steve if it was okay that we have a second dog.  Well, actually, I did ask many times and each time he said no.  So it was a bad breach in our marriage and it's something I would never do again in any relationship.  But it was also the best worst mistake I ever made.  Steve fell deeply in love with Lola and she enriched all our lives in ways we can't even begin to understand.  I doubt I could have made it through the past two years without her spirit, her joie de vivre.  No matter what physical impediments she had to deal with, she never stopped wagging her tail, enjoying every walk, meeting new people, barking at dogs, and happily picking up crap off the sidewalk.  


She was courageous and funny and I don't think anyone could resist her charms.  She lightened my life, got me out of bed in the morning, and made every walk an adventure. Even when I had to carry her outside, I felt it was a gift, like she had become my baby and I wanted only to care for her and give her the best life I could.  When it came to the time that I could no longer provide that, we (Abigail, my loftmate and I) knew we had to let go.


It was one of the most painful decisions of my life, but once I made it, I knew it was the right one.  Holding her at the end was a gift.  Comforting her as she took her last breath was the least I could do for the nine years of pleasure she gave me.  She wasn't an easy dog to train - she was sometimes loud and embarrassing when she barked at dogs five times her size. But she was my Lola, my sweet little girl and I will miss her every day and I am so thankful that she came into our lives and brought us so much light and happiness.  And now I have time to focus on Lucy again and try to give her the best life she can have without her little buddy.  Only she knows how much she misses Lola, how sad she is about the missing member of our little family.