...and the start of a new one

Sometimes I feel like a blog is similar to one of those annoying Christmas cards in which people talk about what they've been doing all year, but never really tell the truth. I.e. "little Ricky just graduated from junior high school with honors and a new girlfriend..." (and they're both on crack.)

I gave myself the holidays to take a breather from looking for work and from worrying about life and I haven't written much because I didn't feel that I had anything to say. I was basically living in a suspended state of fear, treading water. Then today I read Paul Krugman's column about the economy and if you ever want to make everything feel even worse, then read Paul.

I meditated this morning and tried to feel positive about life. Then I made it to my gym, which is one place that physically helps me lift my spirits. (Once I get going.) And then I read this from Pema Chodron:

"Rejoice in ordinary life"

"We can learn to rejoice in even the smallest blessings our life holds. It is easy to miss our own good fortune; often happiness comes in ways we don't even notice. It's like a cartoon I saw of an astonished-looking man saying, 'What was that?' The caption below read, 'Bob experiences a moment of well-being.' The ordinariness of our good fortune can make it hard to catch.

The key is to be here, fully connected with the moment, paying attention to the details of ordinary life. By taking care of ordinary things - our pots and pans, our clothing, our teeth - we rejoice in them. When we scrub a vegetable or brush our hair, we are expressing appreciation: friendships toward ourselves and toward the living quality that is found in everything. This combination of mindfulness and appreciation connects us fully with reality and brings us joy."

So many people I know have serious problems, health problems, family problems, financial crises and yet there is a sense that we are not alone. I guess that my wish for this new year is that we find comfort in that awareness and that keep moving forward with optimistic and appreciation for all that we do have.

As I write this, Steve is playing his guitar and Lucy, our older dog, is demanding my attention. So I guess I truly am not alone.

I think we all need to say a prayer for Obama.

The end of this year

Last week, Steve, Zoe and I went to visit our friends Emily and Len at their beautiful country home outside of Honesdale, Pennsylvania for Christmas. It was relaxing and we cooked some great meals (I was a sous chef and did clean up.) I didn't think about work or money or the future for those five days. I read and took walks and enjoyed nature. Len is the only person I know who can tell me jokes and really make me laugh. He used to have a comedy radio show and his timing is impeccable.


It's hard to know what to say about a year that has brought us a major economic downtown, an historic election, Sarah Palin, a despicable sociopath named Bernard Madoff and the end of eight long years of the worst administration in our lifetime.

Goodbye, so long, adios.

I am hopeful that 2009 will be a better year for everyone.

Amen.

"Our human situation (the three marks of existence)"

I've been carrying around a collection of Pema Chodron's writings and today I read this, which comes from "The Places That Scare You."


"The Buddha taught that there are three principal characteristics of human experience: impermanence, egolessness and suffering (or dissatisfaction.) The lives of all beings are marked by these three qualities. Recognizing these qualities to be real and true in our own experience helps us to relax with things as they are.

I feel gratitude to the Buddha for pointing out that what we struggle against all our lives can be acknowledged as ordinary experience. Life does continually go up and down. People and situations are unpredictable and so is everything else. Everybody knows the pain of getting what we don't want: sinners, saints, winners, losers. I feel gratitude that someone saw the truth and pointed out that we don't suffer this kind of pain because of our personal inability to get things right.

When I begin to doubt that I have what it takes to present with impermanence, egolessness and suffering, it uplifts me to remember that there is no cure for the facts of life. This teaching on the three marks of existence can motivate us to stop struggling, against the nature of reality. We can stop harming others and ourselves in our efforts to escape the alternation of pleasure and pain. We can relax and be fully present for our lives."

Snow day - Fort Greene Park

Slumdog Millionaire

Okay, I've seen a lot of the films that are coming out now - and I really enjoyed many of them - but as my friend Jim said a few posts ago, go see "Slumdog Milionaire." It's fantastic. It is probably my favorite film of the year. A must see. Danny Boyle did a brilliant job directing. Great actors, young kids and some Bollywood stars. It's based on a novel and it's amazing because Danny Boyle had never been to India before the filming. He really captured the city of Mumbai and India. It's an interesting mix of realism, fantasy, and probably some other genres that I can't think of now.

If you haven't seen it yet, definitely put it on the top of your list.

On women

A perfect rainy day

So even though it poured all day (and continues to pour all night) I managed to enjoy the day. "Last Chance Harvey" was the screening I went to. Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson were both lovely, a perfect rainy day film.

I wish I had a clue what I'm going to do next though. It's great having screenings to go to, but everything feels so unsettled now. I picked up a small book of Pema Chodron's writings to carry with me. And I read a really sad and beautiful piece in the New Yorker by Roger Rosenblatt called "Making Toast" about the death of his daughter. She was in her thirties and left three young children and her husband. Rosenblatt and his wife moved in with their son-in-law to help out with the kids. The piece is very moving. It's also on line on the New Yorker website.

Steve has his big presentation tomorrow in Jerez, Spain. He's curating a photography show (along with a few films) about the gypsies in Spain during the late 60's and he will be speaking about the project. Here is a link to the website:

http://www.flamencophotoproject.com/index.html